Well, the other shoe has dropped.

what my cells look like...
... and what my cells SHOULD look like...



So I really should have kept my mouth shut.

I really REALLY should have kept my mouth shut.

I had to go and complain about nothing going on in my life and then... motza ball.

A warning. We are going to dive into the "too much info" realm, so if you are at all squeamish about hearing about medical maladies involving the OB-GYN I suggest you close this window immediately and return tomorrow.

Sigh.

So two weeks ago I went to the OB-GYN for my annual "well woman" exam. All in all, it went really, really well. My cholesterol was down to normal levels (I had been on Accutane which made it skyrocket), my blood sugar was back to normal, as was my blood pressure (I have PCOS which is this hellish disease that fucks up everything... more on that later) and I have lost weight and I have been really good about taking my folic acid to promote good womanly health...

Maybe I should back this train up a little bit and explain the background info. I have PCOS which is PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome, which is basically that I get cysts on my ovaries, which then in turn affect every. single. one. of my major body systems. Endocrine? Check. Digestive? Check. Reproductive? Check. Circulatory? Check. And the list goes on and on. Well, I knew something was up because I went off my birth control because I got a new kind and as of this evening, still have not experienced the joy of my period... since September. Now, I know you are thinking, "Hey! Are you sure you aren't pregnant?" And the answer is pregnancy requires sex... ahahahahahahahahahaha.

So I went to the OBGYN to see what was going on.

Not only did he spend the entire "exam" talking about Michael, but I had to get a "smear" which is very nearly the most awful thing in the world.

When the nurse called me a few days ago, I didn't think anything of it. I thought she wanted to change my appointment or something.

I talked to her today and lo: my pap came back abnormal. Apparently, I have "Atypical Squamous Cells" and need to undergo a "colposcopy" which is like a super cervix magnification journey of fun.

There is a small chance that these cells are pre-cancerous.

Most likely, it is something minor to nothing at all. My mom underwent kind of the same thing when she was 30, after I was born. She ended up having a hysterectomy (and explains why I am an only child), but that is so unlikely. I am just going to have to watch what's going on.

So we'll have to see what happens. I was totally jazzed that for ONCE I was marked as healthy at the OBGYN and lo: this happened. I go in for my "colposcopy" on the 17th. Arrgh.

And the other good news: I now get to have more frequent paps... I thought maybe, every 6 months? No no no... try every 2-3. Fuck.

I should never had said my life was uninteresting.

Cheers.