Meri Winkle- March 6, 2007

So I was going to bitch about how Eric and I had a snafu with Sushi Monday yesterday and how I ended up driving all the way into Hales Corners and sitting by myself like a complete wonk waiting for him and how he was actually sitting at another restaurant a mile up the road and how I didn't have my cell phone so I had to drive all the way home...

But I just got an email from my aunt. My cousin's (well, second cousin... my dad's cousin) wife just passed away from ovarian cancer. She was 38. They have two kids, 15 and 10. The ironic bit is that my cousin is a OB/GYN... yeesh.

It's pretty sad. She was a really strong, peaceful woman.

I have no idea how you deal with the loss of a spouse like that... especially one who was still fairly young. I emailed my cousin and told him how sorry I was and you know if there is anything I can do, blah blah blah... and he responded "Thanks." Just thanks. So much emotion and heartache in just one word.

Cancer is a real fucking bitch, to put it mildly. My grandmother died from colon cancer... Robin's dad died from pancreatic cancer... Eric's brother died from leukemia... now Meri and I am not out of the woods yet with my whole cervical business... christ. Cancer is so indiscriminate, and that is the scariest part about it. I mean, look at that. People ranging from 70-17 and that is just people I know!

I guess it really puts perspective on things. I could sit here and bitch about not meeting up with my friend, or not having a date on Friday, or unrequited love or the fact that I still have the mysterious hickey type thing, but then someone dies and you realise that it is all utter and complete bullshit. Everything is.

Or maybe it's not. Because everything I am doing is dealing with love and life and if you don't have people that love you and you love, what do you have?

RIP Meri Winkle... may you keep on smiling wherever you are.