Midday Update: Free at last! Free at last! Thank GOD, I AM FREE AT LAST!

Something cajunga has just happened.

Michael and I are friends again on facebook.

I know that doesn't sound like much, but to me, it is.

I wanted him to see the pictures I had posted of my new flat and I wanted to see his pictures of Capri and he sort of snarkily said "well, you don't want to see pictures of me."

And I realised that there was no need for THIS anymore. This animosity, this jealousy, this resentment. I don't feel any of it anymore and by clicking "Add To Friends" made a huge difference. It was accepting that we could in fact be friends, admitting that I am excited he is coming home from a FRIENDLY point of view and even better, knowing that all those negative feelings are GONE.

So he accepted me, and I looked through his pictures, which not all that long ago kind of made me a little apeshit (but more because that gypsy girl was wearing my hat, not because of anything with him) and I felt NOTHING. I laughed at his horrible, horrible sweaters, I enjoyed his clearly inebriated shenanigans and that was it.

I think this is all coming from my on fire-ness. However... could it be that instead of just a temporary burst of awesomness, that in fact, I am just an awesome person? Could it be that after years off bullshit and tears, I have grown up? Could it be that I am now comfortable with myself, accepting that which I cannot fix, and loving the wackiness that is me? Has it rendered me self confident, self assured and ready for action? Can it be that although I am perennially bitter... that I am not actually bitter at all?

I'm sorry, my brain totally just exploded.

Hallelujah!