Midday Update: Not possible

So it looks like I have a hickey on my neck.

This was not here yesterday and I certainly haven't been cavorting with someone here at work, so I don't know what is going on.

Yes, I have been in the position (hahahahahaha, sparkling word play) to be the recipient of a hickey, but I didn't get one then (although I did get a mysterious sort of bruise on my arm) and I'm sorry, you don't screw around and then a few days later one mysteriously appears.

It is all red and angry! I think maybe it is a nasty scratch or something, but how did I get it? And why is it on my neck?

It doesn't hurt or anything, but it is getting irritated because I keep fucking with it. I keep walking past the mirror to observe it and it is driving me insane.

It is totally leprosy. Son of a bitch.